If anything happens, I need to hold. I have to shut my ego up and not be so hard on myself that I’m not beating odds. They’re clearly stacked against me in a way I can’t get around.
I can't say what exactly was the trigger. What I do know is I tend to shove everything into a bottle that's constantly being shaken.
It derives from Christian superstition: thirteen people were present the night before Jesus' death on Good Friday.
This is an example of cognitive freeze response that isn't your classic social anxiety freeze. The fun part about doing a titration is you never know if it's your wean or your disorder causing the problem.
It's easier to get through life with many thinking I'm an asshole/space case than saying a word barely anyone understands, then try to explain myself. Repeatedly.
The difference between PTSD and cPTSD is multiple trauma. Usually, it happened (or is happening) for a long period of time, and in some cases in multiple areas of a person's life. Due to these factors, there's a change in the creation of self-concept and much more adaptation to typical and stressful life events.