Once I realized what was happening, I self-sabotaged myself with humour: calling myself a doormat or someone who stood pretty strait for someone with no backbone.
That's the state I'm now, that's the state I've been in, and that's the mental sludge I force through every day. The more I go forward the harder the sludge becomes.
The difference between PTSD and cPTSD is multiple trauma. Usually, it happened (or is happening) for a long period of time, and in some cases in multiple areas of a person's life. Due to these factors, there's a change in the creation of self-concept and much more adaptation to typical and stressful life events.
I'm one that believes that if there's no productive result of the activity, then what's the point?