If anything happens, I need to hold. I have to shut my ego up and not be so hard on myself that I’m not beating odds. They’re clearly stacked against me in a way I can’t get around.
I learned a crucial lesson about myself while this is going on: don't over book yourself, and stick to a simple routine. Only add a challenging aspect when you know in your gut you can deal with whatever outcome, and expect outcomes to have ripple effects a few days later.