Anytime I would seek a need, I was every word under sun: spoiled, greedy, needy, ungrateful etc. Trying to fulfill need isn't the same as being needy.
Any mental illness who's condition comes with a sack load of depression will tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't be on this earth. This voice is particularly the loudest on your birthday. If then the sense of the day is impersonal, echoes of worthlessness and burden follow through.
Yes. You CAN do this. That's the first thing I need to say. I challenge my thoughts and yours. Prove yourself wrong.
The next part I need in helping my confidence is interacting with others. I've been challenging myself to talk to five strangers daily, and it's been working. Now, I need something a bit bigger.
Then, the moment I get out of bed with this I can do anything attitude, it quickly drops. Some days, I'm lucky if I complete my AM breakfast regime. I then have to make choices for that day, pushing those goals I had for myself further and further away.
I know I have made some dumb comments, and I appreciate when people bring it to my attention. I can't change unless I'm told.
If anything happens, I need to hold. I have to shut my ego up and not be so hard on myself that I’m not beating odds. They’re clearly stacked against me in a way I can’t get around.