Continue to live life. I'm going through the paces right now, and I hope I find where I fit. There was guilt during all of this.
When my anxiety becomes too high, or my stress levels can't handle what's in front of me, I want it gone.
IF YOU ARE IN DANGER, CALL 911. Passive suicidal ideation is the constant thought of ending my life. It's always been there controlled by a volume dial I can't access.
Growing up, it was beaten into me that it was always my fault. Always. That mindset still follows me. At its worst point, people would glance my way and automatically I believed I did something wrong, and a pathetic sorry would fall out of my mouth.
The meaning changes from province to province, but I believe I can say with confidence that any holiday that involves a possible four (or more) day weekend, it's defined as a two-four weekend.
Anytime I would seek a need, I was every word under sun: spoiled, greedy, needy, ungrateful etc. Trying to fulfill need isn't the same as being needy.
Any mental illness who's condition comes with a sack load of depression will tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't be on this earth. This voice is particularly the loudest on your birthday. If then the sense of the day is impersonal, echoes of worthlessness and burden follow through.