Continue to live life. I'm going through the paces right now, and I hope I find where I fit. There was guilt during all of this.
IF YOU ARE IN DANGER, CALL 911. Passive suicidal ideation is the constant thought of ending my life. It's always been there controlled by a volume dial I can't access.
It came to a head last night: my first vivid nightmare in over 6 months. I shot awake with tears down my cheeks (I rarely cry). Luckily it wasn't a full blown terror.
I used to enjoy these sorts of mini-quizzes in the beginning days of social media. It's kinda nice to know real people are behind these words.
Any mental illness who's condition comes with a sack load of depression will tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't be on this earth. This voice is particularly the loudest on your birthday. If then the sense of the day is impersonal, echoes of worthlessness and burden follow through.
I know I have made some dumb comments, and I appreciate when people bring it to my attention. I can't change unless I'm told.
If anything happens, I need to hold. I have to shut my ego up and not be so hard on myself that I’m not beating odds. They’re clearly stacked against me in a way I can’t get around.