Tired all the time? Yup.
Flashbacks and terrors? Of course.
Sense of impending doom? Been there.
Compulsion to clean? Always.
Those above are some common mental illness symptoms, but today I’m going to mention a few that I experience every now and again that at times I find bizarre.
My skeleton wants out of my body.
I can’t explain it further than that – it feels like my whole skeleton wants out. All I want to do is rip off my muscles & skin and let it walk right out the door.
I want to shave my head bald.
Yeah, similar to the full on Britney. I’ve only met one other person who has this same sensation. When my anxiety becomes too high, or my stress levels can’t handle what’s in front of me, I want it gone. Maybe this is why I get my hair done often: it’s usually an expression of my current state. I’ve even considered starting a wig collection so that I can change things up depending on how I am.
I need to be near water.
A lake, stream, river, the ocean, any body of water will do. From staring at it while in contemplation to wanting to strip everything off and jump in, when I get this urge I know I’m starting to become overwhelmed. Luckily I have access to public pools, so if the urge is too high I can float and listen to the void water provides.
I sometimes need to walk on my tippy toes.
I hate high heals, and I’m quite aware that how one walks effects body posture. Yet there are days where I cannot fight the urge to walk on the balls of my feet. I have read that this may be Autism related. I’m unsure if I fall under that umbrella, but I have heard it mentioned by one of my practitioners.
I need routine.
I’m not sure if this comes from my compulsion tendencies or my eating disorder tendencies, but I need some sort of daily routine. If the routine is somehow disturbed, my reaction varies. It can stem from minor anxiety that brings on fatigue much quicker, all the way to me shutting down completely. I want to change this one, but it seems to be the most stubborn.
Do you have any weird detox, mental illness, or chronic pain/illness symptoms not usually talked about?